A Life of Promises
by ILoveRomione1
Summary: From his cell in Azkaban, he found his best friends in the stars. He looked into their eyes and made them one last promise: he would get out of there and find their son. And he was determined to keep it, even if it was the last thing he did. [Sirius Black. Rated T for minor violence and minor coarse language.]


Halloween wasn't a date that Sirius Black celebrated anymore. It didn't really make much sense once he left Hogwarts, in his opinion.

So instead, he dove into the memories of what Halloween was like before. There was the big fest, with all types of different candies and pastries, for one. It was one of those occasions when you could swallow enough food to feed an army and no one cared because they were doing it too. To him, the date was about the pranks they played on each other and the midnight, cheesy truth or dares.

He fondly remembered the last Halloween he had at Hogwarts. James and Lily were together and, with the help of Remus, were ganging up on Sirius and Peter. They found themselves having a food fight in the middle of the night down in the kitchens, much to the house-elves' disgrace. He didn't remember a time when pie being thrown at his face seemed so much fun.

So that night, as he sat on the sofa in his flat with a beer, he wasn't about to do anything out of the ordinary. He spent most of his days either sitting on his sofa with a bottle of beer or out on Order business. Maybe James and Lily would be here too, but that wouldn't happen in some time, seeing as they were in hiding. Sirius hadn't seen them in months and he missed them terribly. He couldn't wait until Christmas, when they had scheduled one of the rare meetings with Remus and Peter. But for now, they had been communicating by Patronus', which is why it didn't really come as a surprise when James' stag appeared in front of him that night.

He hadn't been expecting anything out of the ordinary, but what he got instead chilled him to the bone.

_'I love you, Lily. Run! Take Harry! I'll distract him,'_ James' voice came. Sirius stood up, the bottle of beer crashing on the floor. And then lower, his friends voice could be heard, speaking directly to him. '_Padfoot, he's here. Voldemort is here. Take Harry…take care of him for me, mate.' _And then there was a loud bang and the stag had vanished.

Sirius wasn't breathing, and his heart was beating erratically in his chest. Before his brain could even process what he was doing, he had disaparated on the spot with a loud _CRACK!_

He looked around desperately to see he was standing on the road outside where he knew Lily and James' house was. There was a pain in his left leg and he vaguely imagined he had splinched himself on the way, but he barely paid attention to it as a green flash came from the house. He ran into the house, his wand pointed in front of him, and looked around. The door was wide open, so the only light was that from the moon and the old telly.

His eyes were blurred by the darkness, but after a couple of seconds, they focused.

James' body was lying on the ground, unmoving.

"No," he whispered to himself, running over and crouching next to his friend. He took hold of James' shoulders, shaking them slightly. "Prongs, wake up," he said desperately, taking his unconscious form in his arms. "This isn't funny, mate."

He continued shaking him, willing him to wake up. It wasn't possible. There was no way James, his best friend for almost ten years… no way. He wasn't—

Sirius slammed his fist into the floor beside his friend's body, his own shaking with anger. "NO!" he bellowed, and he noticed tears were now running freely down his cheeks. "No," he said, and his voice cracked. "Please, James, wake up…"

A loud wail came from where he knew the nursery was, and his body stiffened. Was that… was that Harry? He wiped his face off angrily, a fierce sense of determination possessing him as he ran upstairs. He couldn't even process the way the house was, practically on the ground. He didn't take time to look at anything other than the fact that there was hope. There was hope that his grandson and Lily were alive…

He burst into the room, a small chant of '_please, please, please…_' running through his mind, and stood frozen at the scene in front of him.

The first thing he saw made his heart burst with strange sense of happiness: Harry was standing in his crib, crying for all that was worth.

Sirius's mouth twitched in a shadow of a smile, but as he made to step forward, his eyes focused on the form at his feet.

Lily Evans lay on the floor, her arms limp at her sides and her eyes lightly shut.

He felt his knees buckle, and a knife was being cruelly twisted in his heart for the second time that night.

"Lilykins…" he whispered, using the nickname he had given her over the years. If he closed his eyes, he could almost see the smile that usually covered her face when he called her that. But now, his words where met with a ringing silence and her blank face that seemed to be doing anything but looking at him. "Don't do this to me, Lily. Harry," his voice broke again and he brought her hand to his face. "_We_ need you," he whispered.

After a second of silence, he dropped her hand angrily to the floor with a dull _thud_. '_Dead'_ was the only word that ran through his mind. That –that wasn't Lily. The person down there wasn't James. They were corpses. Those were their bodies. If Lily and James had been there, they would have come back. They would have come back for him and for Harry…

Sirius wasn't crying anymore. In fact, his face was blank. He stood up abruptly and took his godson in his arms. "Listen to me, Harry," he said, not looking into the boy's painfully green eyes. "I need to leave, but I will be back. And I will take care of you, I promise."

And with those final words to his godson, he set him down in the crib and disaparated.

* * *

To any passing person, a suspicious looking man with a leather jacket was walking into a secluded alley. Everyone would try not to make eye contact with him, as he looked slightly deranged and certainly not friendly. He wasn't smiling. In fact, his face was set in a painful grimace that twisted his features in such a way that made the man look like a maniac.

If someone could have heard the words he spoke in that dark alley, they certainly wouldn't have imagined he was in the most heartbreaking pain he had ever felt. His voice left no space for emotion. There was no time.

Sirius Black conjured a patronus, only barely, but it was enough at the moment. He spoke his words dryly, as if there weren't thousands of needles piercing his heart.

'_Lily and James are dead,_' he spoke, glancing over his shoulder at the entrance of the alley. _'Harry's fine. They're dead, Remus.'_

He watched the faint looking dog disappear in front of his eyes. It was probable he hadn't even sent the message, but he didn't have the energy –nor the will –to try again. He unzipped the pocket of his leather jacket and grasped his wand tightly in one of his hands. He walked determinately out of the darkness, not caring if anyone saw him carrying his wand.

He just didn't care anymore.

And so when he saw the blonde haired man walking down the street without a care in the world, he continued not to care.

He pushed past muggles, even going as far as to stun some innocent people along the way, heading straight to 'talk' to his '_old mate_.'

People watched Sirius push pass them, some of them trying to grab them and saying '_Hey! Watch where you're going!_', but none of them kept trying after taking a look at his expression.

Peter Pettigrew saw Sirius coming, and he knew exactly what he wanted. His round eyes widened, but he didn't try to run. He knew exactly what he had to do. He had a plan.

Sirius shoved his wand right under Peter's chin, pushing it up into the air. "You bastard," he growled, fuelling all his pain into rage. "They trusted you! They trusted you with their lives and you betrayed them! You sold them out to Voldemort and got them killed! You killed-" his own words were muffled by the sickening crack his fist made when it collided with the Peter's jaw.

Some people were starring; others were running away from the scene. Some people were wondering what the suspicious looking man planned to do with a wooden stick; others simply knew nothing good could come from the look in his eyes.

And then Peter let out an almost hysterical laugh. A sound that tore Sirius's insides apart, a sound of the worst betrayal. And then, he brought out his wand.

Sirius stepped back, pointing his wand out him, and let out a bitter snort of laughter. "You're going to duel me?! JAMES AND LILY ARE DEAD, YOU BASTARD!" he roared, about to send a hex at him, but stopping short.

Peter had murmured a spell, and moved his wand in a slicing motion. Something dropped to the ground. Sirius stepped back in shock. It was a finger.

It was a bloody finger.

* * *

The last thing Sirius remembered about that night was Peter's beady eyes shrinking and his twisted smile growing whiskers. All he knew was that somehow, twelve dead muggles and the death of a living traitor had been pinned on him.

Strangely enough, the events of that night were the only thing keeping him from spiraling into madness.

He now sat against the dusty wall of his cell in Azkaban, rethinking over that one memory that was keeping him from ripping his own hair out.

He had made a promise that night, and his own stubbornness and anger had blinded him from keeping it.

_'I will be back. And I will take care of you, I promise." _

But instead, he had gotten himself known as a notorious mass murderer, the killer of his parents, and had gotten himself locked up for twelve years.

And he had even betrayed his best friend's last wish.

_'Take Harry… take care of him for me, mate.'_

He had to live. He had to be sane. For his best friend, for Harry… he owed them as much.

Sirius sighed miserably, turning his head to look out the small, barred window in his cell. He looked at the stars. He tried to look even farther. He looked for his best friends among the constellations.

He looked for the smiling redhead, calling him out on 'having a stick shoved up way too far up his arse.' For the person that came to him one night and whispered that she fancied the trousers off his best mate. For the redhead that was so stubborn, yet so insecure at the same time.

He looked for the messy haired boy he met in his first year at Hogwarts. The one that was so understanding when he found out about Remus's 'furry little problem' that he suggested they become animagni. The same friend that took him in that summer when he showed up with his trunk, asking for a roof to live under. The one that couldn't get his eyes off of 'the prettiest girl ever' and bothered him until two in the morning with the details of his only love.

He found them and looked into his eyes. He made them a promise. He would have the will to get out of here and look for their son.

And he was determined to keep it, even if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

_Hi! So I have no idea why I wrote this... Sirius is my favorite character and I just... why must I put myself through such pain!? okay sorry. I hope you enjoyed this! _

_A review will make my day ;)_

_Nicole xx_


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